Feed Me

This piece is titled, “Feed Me”, though I’ve come up with a few alternative titles for it: “Capitalism”, aka “Hustle”, aka “The Shockingly Unsatisfied Algorithm”

I got the idea for this painting while I was framing my first solo show. For my show, I bought many of my frames from Goodwill and rehabbed them myself since I couldn’t afford to have all of my work professionally framed. Even so, I had to cash in my coin jar to make that happen.

I’ve been known to film time-lapse videos of my art and my process at times to then turn them into reels to feed the shockingly unsatisfied algorithm. The timelapse shows an hour’s worth of time in 15 seconds. It can be easy for the tired, the burnt out, the apathetic  to maybe stop for a few seconds and see a tiny portion of the video before they continue their scrolling to numb them from the ever increasing horrifying realities of today’s world. I get it. I do it too.

But something struck me while I was viewing the framing footage, and I began to take screenshots. I was often double-exposed in a single frame due to how fast the video is sped up. It seemed a terrible beautiful analogy for how I’ve been feeling as an artist lately. Stretched too thin. Losing the “why” in a sea of attention competition. Not enough of me to get done all the things. Feeling like I’m moving at warp speed, only to open my eyes and see I’ve only moved an inch. 

“Feed Me” refers to the pressure to always serve up something new and beautiful and cool and plenty and more and faster and shinier and brighter and with more personality! I’m tired. And I know others are too. I’m with you. I’m an artist at my core; I’ll always create. But I‘ve got to do it on terms that feel good for me. That may mean showing up differently. You all know where to find me if you need me. I am so grateful for all the love and support over the years. I’m going to slow down a bit and enjoy hibernation season. After all- the body and mind need quiet time and even a bit of boredom to rest, replenish, and integrate. I’m going to give myself that gift this year. I hope you do too.